Tomorrow is what some call a “Hallmark Holiday,” or Valentine’s Day, and for every fool with chocolate and teddy bear there will another (likely single) fellow or lady spouting off the reasons they hate the courtship, the  romance, the intertwined indulgence of modern-day coupling.

But over here, we like to think you don’t need a special holiday to be cynical, about such things. Hell, we pretty much do it every day.

“I was writing his story
And he gave me a look
He was very handsome, distractingly so
and I never dreamed that he’d be my boyfriend
He wrote me letters, daily from prison
That said I know I’ve killed a few
But none of those women were you
I couldn’t speak,
It was over for me,
I found my grim reaper prince

Well he said he loved me,
And he cooked me dinner
He cut my lungs out,
And made me feel thinner
And I’ll never forget him
Now that it’s over
The life that we had
When they strapped him down


Oh but how all the girls were jealous
Cause he liked me the best
Oh and I couldn’t breathe,
It was true love indeed,

But now my grim prince is gone

Well I said I loved him
When they strapped him in

But he wasn’t cryin’
He took it like a man
And the families watched him
As he breathed his last
But I got rather angry
I started to laugh a
nd say, 

Now he’s got what’s comin’
He was due his lot
Oh and I couldn’t see, 
there were tears on my cheek
Goodbye my grim reaper prince

Goodbye my grim reaper prince
Goodbye, goodbye
I’ll see you in a while,
Goodbye,
Farewell,
Good luck.”
-A Journalist Falls in Love with Deathrow Inmate #16
Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s